


I Have Loved You For A Thousand Years, And I’ll Love You For A Thousand More

by rauqthetommo



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bad Dreams, Barebacking, Big Dick Richie Tozier, Blood and Gore, Blowjobs, Bottom Eddie Kaspbrak, Declarations Of Love, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Trauma, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Graphic depictions of violence - Freeform, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Paternal Abuse, Period Typical Homophobia, Pet Names, Physical Abuse, Post IT-Chapter Two, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Praise Kink, Richie Tozier Cries During Sex, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Smut, Sonia Kaspbrak’s A+ parenting, Stanley Uris Lives, Stanley Uris is a Good Friend, The Deadlights, Top Richie Tozier, Unprotected Sex, Verbal Abuse, domestic abuse, maternal abuse, physical violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:20:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22581658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rauqthetommo/pseuds/rauqthetommo
Summary: Eddie recovers from his encounter with It with Richie by his side.An excerpt from this work:Wherever Eddie was, it was dark. And cold. And lonely. He could hear something, it maybe sounded like a voice? He couldn’t really tell. Whatever the noise was, it was soft and warm, and it made him feel safe.He tried to open his eyes, but he couldn’t, so he just gave up. He felt some dull, stinging pain, but since he couldn’t open his eyes, he couldn’t tell what it was or what part of him was even hurting, so he had to just ignore it.He couldn’t tell if time was passing at all. Well, time was always passing, but he couldn’t tell how long it had been. Every second could have been an hour, could have been a day, could have been a week, could have been a fucking year for all he knew.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon, Eddie Kaspbrak/Myra Kaspbrak (One-sided), Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Patricia Blum Uris/Stanley Uris
Comments: 9
Kudos: 269





	I Have Loved You For A Thousand Years, And I’ll Love You For A Thousand More

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a quick fic but it got away from me and then it was 10,000 words so I hope y’all enjoy.

Wherever Eddie was, it was dark. And cold. And lonely. He could hear something, it maybe sounded like a voice? He couldn’t really tell. Whatever the noise was, it was soft and warm, and it made him feel safe. 

He tried to open his eyes, but he couldn’t, so he just gave up. He felt some dull, stinging pain, but since he couldn’t open his eyes, he couldn’t tell what it was or what part of him was even hurting, so he had to just ignore it. 

He couldn’t tell if time was passing at all. Well, time was always passing, but he couldn’t tell how long it had been. Every second could have been an hour, could have been a day, could have been a week, could have been a fucking year for all he knew. 

But that noise was always there. It was a soft sort of humming, constant idle sound that filled his ears and his brain as the not-really-time passed by. 

For so long there was nothing, and then suddenly, there was something. 

Suddenly, he was 14 again, standing in his bedroom, his mother screaming in his face. And then he was 40, and Myra was screaming in his face in their townhouse. Then his mother was screaming at him again, but he was 40, even though Sonia had been dead for years. But there he was, standing in his childhood bedroom at 40 years old, with his mother screaming in his face. She slapped him, hard across the cheek, which she only did when she was really upset. 

She slapped him across the face and then turned on her heel, slamming the bedroom door and locking it from the outside. Eddie sat on his bed and cried, cheek still stinging from where Sonia had hit him, 40 years old and alone. 

There was a tapping on his window, and Eddie turned his head to see Richie. 14 year old Richie, crouching on the back porch cover and motioning for Eddie to let him in. Eddie did, sliding up the glass pane and pulling Richie in by his upper arms. “Hey Eds,” He said, but he didn’t sound like 14 year old Richie. He sounded like 40 year old Richie. The Richie that he’d met when he returned to Derry after nearly 30 years. 

“Hey Richie.” Eddie’s own voice sounded far away, and it wavered as he spoke, as if he was speaking through a fan. 

“It’ll be ok, Eds.” Young Richie said, pulling Eddie down onto his bed and holding him. 

40 year old Eddie sobbed against Richie’s chest, just as he’d done so many times as a child, while Young Richie brushed his hair back from his face and hushed him gently. 

When Eddie pulled back to look at him, Richie wasn’t 14 anymore, he was 18. He looked exactly the way he had the last time Eddie had seen him before they left Derry. One of the lenses of his glasses was cracked, because he’d gotten in a fight with someone at school and they’d punched him in the face. “It’s ok, Eddie.” Slightly Older Richie said softly, wiping Eddie’s tears away. “Take your time, I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Eddie started to ask, “what?”, but then everything faded away and he was wrapped in darkness again. 

The world shifted around him and he was suddenly standing in the caves underneath of Derry. Richie was hanging in the deadlights above him, suspended in the air, eyes stark white with blood dripping from his nose. Eddie threw the fence post again, impaling Pennywise, only this time, Richie didn’t fall when Pennywise backed up. He stayed in the air, hanging from nothing, completely unmoving. 

Eddie was quick to grab Richie by his ankle, pulling him down and holding him in place by his shoulders. “Richie,” Eddie grabbed the sides of Richie’s face and shook him gently, trying to wake him up. 

Richie flashed quickly between himself at 40 and himself at 14, then he was 9 year old Richie, and suddenly he was Bev, 14 years old, where she’d been caught in the deadlights. “Richie,” Eddie said again as his image flickered back to 40 year old Richie, then to 40 year old Beverly, then back to Richie. “Rich!” Eddie shouted. He was 14 again, he realized, and his fanny pack felt like it weighed 100 pounds, yanking him downwards. He realized he was sinking into the stone floor. “Richie!” He shook Richie harder, trying desperately to wake him. 

“Scaredy-Cat Kaspbrak!” Richie spoke in a voice that wasn’t his own. It was the voice of Pennywise, taunting and cruel, tumbling from Richie’s lips. “Step right up, Eddie!” Not-Richie teased, eyes still unblinking as Eddie sank further into the floor. “You’ll laugh! You’ll cry! You’ll float! You’ll die!” Richie laughed that terrible laugh, the piercing laugh of the fucking clown. 

Eddie was up to his waist in the floor, pulling at Richie’s legs as he sank further down. “Richie!” He sounded so scared, even to his own ear. He was crying, tears running down his cheeks as the stone floor pressed against his chest, weighing his lungs down and cracking his ribs. He could feel his bones splinter and break apart in his chest as he sank. “Rich—!” The stone floor engulfed him completely, hard and heavy and cold, pressing against him so hard he thought it would crush him to death. 

And then he was floating. 

He was nowhere. 

Wait. 

No. 

He was somewhere. 

Warm and bright. 

He still couldn’t breath, though. 

Someone was calling to him. “Eds!” They yelled. 

Eddie looked around frantically. The world was washed in a light green, breaking and twisting and swirling around, with little bubbles floating upwards towards the sky. _Bubbles?_ Eddie opened his mouth and it flooded with water. He was swimming, he realized with a start. He kicked upwards, wildly, breaking the surface and shaking his head to get his hair out of his eyes. 

“Eddie Spaghetti beat us again!” Richie laughed. 

Eddie spun around, coughing heavily at the taste of lake water in his mouth. He was in the quarry. He was 14 years old, in the quarry with the other Losers, swimming in their underwear. 

“Good j-j-job, Eddie.” Bill smiled at him off to his left. “I don’t know h-how you hold your breath for so long.”

“Maybe he’s faking his asthma.” Beverly teased, floating by on her back, wet bra clinging to her skin. 

Ben watched her intently as she drifted past, bright red hair fanning out in the water. “Let’s play chicken,” Ben suggested, eyes not leaving Bev’s face. “Want to be my partner, Beverly?”

“Be my partner, Eddie.” Richie grinned at him, paddling over and touching Eddie’s arm. 

“What’s going on, Rich?” Eddie asked desperately. His brain felt like it was flying in a rocket ship, jumping from place to place so fast he was worried he was going to get whiplash. 

“We’re playing chicken.” Richie replied, turning his back to Eddie and bending forward. 

“I don’t want to play, Rich, I want to go home. I’m scared.” Eddie shook his head, leaning forward to cling to Richie’s shoulders, pressing his cheek to the wet skin between Richie’s shoulder blades. He was freezing cold to the touch. 

“Don’t be scared, Eds.” Richie’s voice sounded far away. Eddie realized the world around them was melting. The quarry was almost completely gone, now only the two of them stood together in about a foot wide circle of water. “I’m here, Eddie.” Richie spoke softly again. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Eddie pressed deeper into Richie’s skin, trying to hold him tightly. He didn’t want him to go again. He wanted Richie to stay so desperately. 

His chest heaved. He needed his inhaler. 

Eddie’s head hurt when he looked around, somewhere new. He recognized the place immediately. He was in Bill’s living room, sleeping on the floor with the other Losers.

When they were kids, they used to have sleepovers like this all the time, all seven of them curled up in a big pile on the floor, limbs and blankets and pillows thrown everywhere. 

Beverly was lying practically on top of Eddie, her head on his ribs as she snored softly, Mike curled up against her back. Ben was sleeping next to Eddie, his arm thrown up over his face, Bill’s head pressed up against his. Eddie’s own head was resting on Bill’s stomach, jostling lightly with every breath he took.

Stan and Richie were nowhere to be seen, although Eddie knew for a fact they’d been there when they went to sleep. Stanley had been hugging Eddie’s legs to his chest and Richie had draped himself over Ben, holding Bill’s hand. Eddie could remember the warmth of all of them together, cuddled up on the floor to go to sleep. He’d loved that feeling as a child. It made him feel so warm and safe. 

Eddie could hear talking, the hushed voices of people that thought they were being quiet. “I just don’t know what to do, Stanley.” It was Richie speaking.

“You could tell him.” Stanley said softly. 

“I just—“ Richie sniffled, stuttering. “I don’t want to lose him, Stan. I love him so much.”

“He loves you too, Rich.” Stanley’s voice was so comforting, Eddie’s heart hurt to hear it. 

Richie started crying, Eddie could hear it, little breathy sobs as he tried to stay quiet enough to not wake anyone. Eddie wanted to call out to him, to go to him, to comfort him, but he couldn’t move. Beverly grumbled something and threw her arm over Eddie’s stomach. “Shh, Richie.” Stan whispered. “It’ll be ok, Rich.”

“Go back to sleep, Eddie.” Someone mumbled to his left. He turned his head to see Myra, face buried in her own pillow. The Losers were gone, and Eddie was in his bed at his townhouse. 

He could still hear Stan and Richie talking, though, not completely gone. “I love him, Stanley.” Richie said again. 

“Richie!” Eddie called, sitting up in his bed, whipping his head towards the sound of his voice. 

He wasn’t in bed anymore. He was in the house on Neibolt. He was lying on the broken table, the gaping hole in the ceiling above him dusting bits of drywall onto his face and hair. 

His arm was broken, worse than broken, actually. It had snapped clean off, just below the elbow, and was now spraying blood all over the floor. 

The fridge in front of him rattled aggressively, door swinging open and banging into the wall so hard it cracked the wainscoting. Instead of Pennywise unfolding himself from within the fridge, it was Richie this time. 14 year old Richie, dressed in his Freese’s shirt, glasses hanging crooked on his face. “Beep beep, Eddie Spaghetti!” He laughed loudly, the clown’s angry laugh. 

“Eddie, look at me!” Someone yelled, pulling his face to the side. 

It was Richie, 40 year old Richie, holding Eddie’s face in his hands and turning him away from Young Richie. “Richie,” Eddie said miserably. 

“Beep beep, Trashmouth!” Young Richie launched at them, teeth snapping. 

“Eddie, don’t look at that, look at me.” Older Richie said, big brown eyes wet behind his glasses. “I’m here, Eds.”

“I’m scared, Richie.” Eddie sobbed. 

“I’ll be here for you, Eds, whenever you decide to wake up, I’m here.”

“Richie, I don’t understand,” Eddie shook his head, burying his face in Older Richie’s shoulder. 

“You just need to wake up, Eds.” Older Richie kicked out in front of them, kicking Young Richie away as he lunged forward again. 

Eddie shook his head again, the soft fabric of Richie’s shirt swiping over his face as he began crying. 

And then everything was gone. He was in the dark again. He was lying down, wherever he was, and wherever he was was quiet. He blinked his eyes open, squinting in the dim light of the room. It was a hospital room, a heart monitor beeping softly in the corner. He was lying on a bed, scratchy sheets and blankets pulled up over his stomach. There was a tube taped under his nose, tickling his skin as fresh air bubbled out of it and into his nostrils. 

His mouth was so dry that his tongue felt like a cinder block. He moaned softly, blinking again and trying to focus his eyes on his surroundings. The clock on the wall read 1:03, but he didn’t know if it was AM or PM, as the curtains were drawn. A tv played softly against the wall, volume turned so low that all of the voices were a wordless hum. He had an IV in the back of his hand, which hurt when he moved, the skin sore around the injection site. Against the wall to his left were two wooden chairs, and slumped over in one, fast asleep and snoring, was Richie Goddamn Tozier, arms crossed, chin dropped against his chest, glasses slipping down his face. 

The first time Eddie tried to speak he couldn’t manage it, so he swallowed hard and tried again. “Richie,” He croaked. 

Richie woke with a start, snorting softly and blinking wearily at him. “Eddie, shit.” He managed, leaping to his feet and immediately slamming the call button for the nurse on the wall. “Eddie, listen to me.” Richie knelt next to Eddie’s bed and took his face in his hands. “Eddie, I love you so much, ok? I need you to know that.”

“Richie,” Eddie reached out for him, wrapping his hand around Richie’s forearm. 

“I love you, Eddie, do you hear me?” Richie kissed Eddie’s forehead, tears running from his face and dripping down onto Eddie’s hospital gown. 

“Richie,” Eddie said again, closing his eyes and letting himself be held. 

The door to his room swung open a second later and Eddie could hear multiple sets of feet scrambling to get over to him. Someone pulled he and Richie apart and Eddie heard a snarky voice, one that, for a brief moment, sounded just like his mother. He realized, as he drifted back to sleep, that it must have been Myra. 

*** 

The next time Eddie woke up, he had a headache so bad that his eyes felt like they were going to roll right out of his skull. Light streamed into the room, harsh against the back of his closed eyelids, and he could hear arguing. 

“You can all go,” Someone said. She sounded annoyed. 

“Eddie would want us here,” Someone else argued back. 

“You people have done enough!” She snapped. Eddie recognized the voice. Myra. “Eddie is done with you! Done!”

“Mrs. Kaspbrak—“ Bill’s voice. 

“It’s bad enough that you people dragged him here! You almost got him killed!”

“We were attacked, Mrs.—“ Stanley started. 

“Don’t try to blame anyone else!” Myra was practically screaming now. 

Eddie’s head throbbed as he realized that the conversation he was hearing was almost identical to the one the Losers had had with Sonia when Eddie had broken his arm. “If you’d just let us—“ Ben tried. 

“No!” Myra hissed. “I’m calling security, I’m having you people taken out of here. You’re never going to see my husband again.” 

“Myra,” Eddie opened his eyes despite the lingering pain, taking the his surroundings. 

All of the Losers stood in a semi-circle around Eddie’s hospital bed, Myra in the center of them. She was mid-scold, finger still raised as she pointed angrily at Ben. They were all looking at him with wide eyes. Richie and Beverly were crying. 

“Oh, Eddie,” Mike choked out, the first to break the silence and rush to Eddie’s side. He hugged Eddie so tightly it hurt, wrapping him up completely in his arms. 

The other Losers swarmed around him too, holding him in a group hug, each pressing kisses to his face and hair. 

“Move, back up!” Myra snapped at them, pushing her way to the front of the crowd. Her face was flushed and wet with tears as she sat on the edge of Eddie’s bed, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Eddie, how could you worry me like that?!” She demanded, scowling at him. “First you disappear without so much of a phone call and then you—“

“Myra, I want a divorce.” Eddie interrupted. 

The silence that hung in the air was heavy, weighing down his clothes and his blankets. He felt like he could feel every thread woven into the cloth. 

Myra shook her head, frowning. “Eddie, you don’t—“

“Yes, I do.” He said, meeting her eyes. 

Her lower lip wobbled. “You just woke up, Eddie-Bear, you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Myra, I’ve wanted a divorce for a long time.” He told her honestly. It was true. He’d been wanting a divorce for almost as long as they’d been married. He’d only ever dated Myra because Sonia didn’t like her, and he’d married her for the same reason. It wasn’t until Eddie took his call from Mike that he’d realized, Myra was his mother. They were exactly the same in every way. He’d married his mother, and she had the same control over him that Sonia had had. Apparently, all it took was a near-death experience for him to work up to balls to leave her. “I want you to go.” He said. “Please.” He added, because he didn’t want to be rude. 

Myra took a shaky breath, nodding slowly. She met Eddie’s eyes again before reaching out and slapping him across the face, pretty fucking hard, her long nails scraping his cheek as she did. 

All of the Losers moved at once, Beverly grabbing Myra by the wrist and pulling her away, Bill and Ben stepping up between them and Eddie. Stanley shuffled Richie out into the hallway, speaking to him in a hushed voice as he did so, while Mike pressed the call button on the wall and sat down at Eddie’s bedside. “Are you ok?” He asked softly, brushing his hand down Eddie’s cheek, frowning. 

“I’m fine,” Eddie nodded, listening to Myra and Beverly argue in the corner. “I want her gone.”

Mike nodded. “She will be.”

Two doctors and a slew of nurses came in a second later, scrambling to check Eddie’s vitals and take notes, changing his IV bag and readjusting his cannulas. Eddie watched as two male nurses escorted Myra out, one hand on each of her arms as they led her away. It made him smile to watch her go. Sure, he’d have to deal with all of bullshit of their actual divorce, but as far as he was concerned, he was done with her. 

*** 

The doctors made his friends leave while they looked him over, checking his pupils with lights and lifting up his shirt to show him his brand-new scars. The doctor explained that they’d been able to piece him back together for the most part, minus half of one of his lungs and all of one of his kidneys, but he was very lucky to be alive. He’d underwent 7 surgeries in the two whole months that he’d been out. He’d been in a medically induced coma after his first surgery, and had slipped into an actual coma due to swelling in his brain almost immediately after he went into recovery. They managed to right most of his issues, telling him that he’d need physical therapy in order to walk again properly, as he’d suffered some minor damage to his spinal cord from “the accident.” 

The Losers had told the doctors that they’d been in a car that drove off a cliff, and Eddie had gotten hurt that way. Eddie nodded along to the story, feigning memory loss due to the accident, as it was easier than explaining that a killer clown from outer space had impaled him with its claw and then thrown him down a cave system. 

The doctors gave him more pain meds for his headache, telling him to get some rest, before stepping out into the hall and allowing the Losers back in. 

They wrapped him up in a group hug, holding him tightly for a full 5 minutes before any of them spoke. “You’re a real fighter, Eds.” Ben said, patting Eddie’s knee. “We really thought we’d lost you.”

They all nodded, murmuring their agreements. “I’m so sorry we tried to leave you,” Beverly said softly, burying her face in her hands and sobbing. “We just—“

“Bev, it’s ok.” Eddie reached out and grabbed her hand. “I thought I was done for, too. I would have left me.”

Ben rubbed Beverly's shoulder while she cried, kissing the side of her head. “I’m just so sorry, Eddie.” She sobbed. 

“It doesn’t matter what happened then,” Stanley said soothingly, dragging his fingers over Eddie’s leg as he spoke. “It matters what’s happening now.” He smiled down at Eddie, reading glasses pushed up into his curly hair. “You’re safe now, Eddie. And we’re here for you.”

“We luh-love you, Eds.” Bill said, leaning over the foot of the bed to pat Eddie’s shin.

“I love you guys, too.” Eddie smiled at them, twisting his hospital blanket in his hands. “You all really didn’t have to stay in Derry this long, though.” Eddie shook his head. “I’m sure you all have lives to get back to.”

“We’re not in Derry.” Mike shook his head too. “We’re in New York.” The other Losers nodded. “Your wife— uh, ex-wife, wanted you closer to home, so she had you flown up here once you were stable enough.”

“And nothing in our lives could ever be more important than making sure you were ok, Eddie.” Ben said, arm still draped over Bev’s shoulder. 

“I appreciate it.” Eddie said softly. “Really, I do.” He looked over all of their faces. “I love you guys.”

Stan smiled, cupping Eddie’s face in his hand, brushing his thumb over his cheek. “We love you too,”

*** 

The Losers hung around for as long as they could, pushing right up against the end of visitors hours to share with Eddie the details of their lives over the past two months. 

Beverly had divorced her husband and had moved in with Ben, the two of them moving into a place in Manhattan. 

Bill had also filed for divorce, having started up a relationship with Mike when they reconnected, and the two of them had also moved to New York, moving into the apartment above a small bookstore in the city. 

Stanley and his wife, Patty, (whom all of the Losers had met and _loved_ ) had moved up north from Atlanta as well, settling into the suburbs just outside of the city. 

Even Richie had packed up and moved across the country, essentially abandoning his life in LA to be near everyone else.

Richie was, however, uncharacteristically quiet while everyone spoke, mostly keeping to himself, sitting in a wooden chair in the corner of the room and bouncing his legs in silence. 

When visitors hours were up, a nurse came in to ask everyone to go and to change Eddie’s IV bag again. The Losers hugged Eddie goodbye and shuffled out, leaving only Eddie, the nurse, and Richie, still sitting in his chair in the corner. When the nurse was gone, Richie spoke up. “I’m glad you’re awake, Eds.” He dragged his chair closer to the bed, taking Eddie’s hand in his. “I honestly don’t know what to do now. I’ve been spending every night here with you for months.”

Eddie frowned. “You were here every night?” Richie nodded. “Why?”

“I wanted to be here when you woke up.” Richie shrugged, running his thumb over Eddie’s knuckles. “I used to talk to you.” He said quietly. “I don’t know if you could hear me.”

“I could,” Eddie said, squeezing Richie’s hand. “You were in all my dreams.”

Richie grinned, eyes crinkling up. “You dreamt about me?”

“Only because you never shut up.” Eddie laughed, and Richie laughed too. “Thanks for being here, Rich. And uh—” Eddie paused, searching for the right words. “Thank you for carrying me. Out of Neibolt, I mean.”

Richie shook his head vigorously. “I could never leave you behind, Eddie.”

“I was practically dead already,” Eddie said softly. 

“Eddie, I’d die before I’d leave you behind.” Richie’s voice was so serious it startled Eddie. 

He’d been expecting to have Richie crack some joke at Eddie’s expense, probably something about him being heavy or maybe something about him being too lazy to walk out of Neibolt himself. Richie’s serious tone was unexpected. 

“How’d you get them to let you stay?” Eddie asked after a beat. “Like, stay here past visitors hours.”

Richie shrugged, frowning. “I said you were my family. Myra wasn’t willing to stay with you overnight, but I didn’t ever want you to be alone, so I stayed instead.” Richie paused, pushing his glasses back into place. “I love you, Eddie.”

“I love you too,”

“Eddie, I have to tell you something.” Richie chewed on his bottom lip, still clutching Eddie’s hand in his, stroking his knuckles softly. 

“Ok,” Eddie nodded, waiting. 

“Eddie, I—“ Richie stuttered, shaking his head and looking away, staring out the window. “I’m sorry,” He said softly. 

“For what?” Eddie knit his eyebrows together. “Rich, what’s wrong?” Richie shook his head. “Richie, you can tell me anything, you know that.” Richie took a shaky breath, a few tears slipping down his cheeks. “Richie, don’t do that.” Eddie tugged on Richie’s arm, pulling him up onto the bed and into a hug. “Don’t cry, man.” Richie sobbed softly on Eddie’s shoulder, allowing Eddie to brush his hair back from his face. “Take your time, Rich, it’s ok.”

“Eddie, I—“ Richie took another shaky breath, pushing deeper into Eddie’s shoulder. “Eddie, I love you.”

“I love you too, Rich.” Eddie gently worked a knot out of Richie’s hair. 

“No, Eddie.” Richie wiped at his eyes. “I’m _in_ love with you, Eddie.” Richie didn’t pull back so Eddie didn’t either, still just carding his hand through Richie’s hair. “I have been since we were little kids.”

Eddie didn’t answer right away, just taking that information in. He and Richie had always been extremely close, especially when they were kids. And he loved Richie, of course he did, so much. Richie was his favorite person, he always had been, even when he didn’t remember him. Eddie used to watch Richie’s stand-up on tv and laugh until his sides hurt, just thinking about what it would be like to know him. Turns out he already did. 

Eddie had never taken a hard look at his sexuality either. When he was growing up, his mom often ranted and raved about HIV and AIDs, warning him if he dangers of contracting it. And he grew up in fucking Derry. Derry where Henry Bowers called Eddie and his friends “faggot” on the regular. Derry where any deviation from what was considered normal got you ridiculed and ostracized. Derry where, just that year, Adrian Mellon and Don Hagarty had been brutally attacked for being gay. Eddie had only ever been with women, at least in any meaningful way. He’d once let a guy blow him at a party when he was in college, but he’d convinced himself the next day that he’d just been drunk, even though he really hadn’t. He’d also kissed men before. He’d kissed Richie, actually, when they graduated from high school. He remembered that day, suddenly. They’d gone to the quarry together after the ceremony and leapt off of the cliff, down into the murky water below. They’d been so happy that day, laughing and cheering and splashing around, that Eddie had thought nothing of the quick peck on the lips Richie had given him when they went in for a hug. It had made Richie’s face flush and Eddie’s heart race, but he’d never thought too deeply about it. Especially since he’d moved away pretty soon after and forgotten Richie completely. 

Eddie realized that Richie had begun crying again, and it was probably because Eddie hadn’t said anything yet. “Please don’t cry, Richie.” Eddie pulled Richie closer to him, turning his head to press a kiss to Richie’s forehead. 

“I’m sorry,” Richie said again. “I’ve never told anyone that before.” He sniffled softly. “Well, I actually did tell—“

“Stan,” Eddie finished, nodding. He thought back to his dream of the Losers in Bill’s living room. 

“I told him when we were kids, and then again after we all came back.” Richie shook his head. “I’m sorry, Eddie.”

“Don’t be sorry, Rich.” Eddie pulled back to look at Richie’s face. His wide brown eyes were wet behind his glasses, tear streaks running down his flushed cheeks. He smiled sadly up at Eddie. “You’re my best friend,” Eddie said softly, cupping Richie’s jaw and swiping his thumb over Richie’s cheekbone. Richie’s eyelids fluttered at the contact. “I don’t—“ He stuttered, searching for the right words. “I don’t know what I want, Richie.” Richie nodded, listening carefully. “I’m getting a divorce.” He said, for the first time out loud. “Fuck, I’m getting a divorce.” Eddie repeated, pulling Richie in again, burying his face in Richie’s hair. He laughed softly, some of Richie’s curls tickling his nose. “I think this is the happiest I’ve been in a long fucking time, Rich.” 

“That’s great, Eds.” Richie said, words muffled by Eddie’s skin, where Richie’s face was buried in his neck. “I’m happy for you.”

“I don’t know what I want, Richie.” Eddie sighed, pulling back to, once again, look into Richie’s eyes. “I have no right to ask this of you, but would you be willing to stay with me? Wait while I figure it out?”

Richie nodded, smiling lightly up at Eddie. “Of course, Eds.” He said. “I’ll stay with you. I’ll wait.”

*** 

And Richie did wait. He stayed with Eddie all throughout his extensive physical therapy. He cheered Eddie on loudly as he learned to walk again, first with bars, then with crutches, then with a cane, and finally, on his own. He took his first free steps directly into Richie’s arms, burying his face in Richie’s chest and crying happily, holding him tightly and smiling. 

Richie stayed while Eddie struggled through his divorce. As soon as Eddie was discharged from the hospital, Richie helped him collect all of his shit from his and Myra’s old townhouse and move it into Richie’s apartment. 

As it turned out, Eddie didn’t really have all that much stuff to bring with. Most of the furniture he’d bought with Myra he hated, so he left it all there, opting instead to pick out new furniture with Richie. 

Richie had been living in, basically, a shell of an apartment since moving to New York, with his king bed on the floor, an old couch he’d picked up from the side of the road when he was, like, 25, and a few other, sparse, pieces of furniture, like a dented up dining table with two mismatched chairs. So, they picked out new stuff together, walking around IKEA, hands clasped together, while Richie mispronounced every single item name. 

Richie had offered to sleep on the pullout couch since his place was only one bedroom, but Eddie had refused to kick Richie out of his own bed. He’d initially tried sleeping on the couch, but they were both often plagued by nightmares of their encounters with It, so they’d quickly given up on sleeping apart, and now fell asleep curled up together in Richie’s bed. It reminded Eddie of the sleepovers they’d had as children, where he’d often wake up curled onto Richie’s chest, safe and warm and happy. 

His divorce from Myra was messy, largely due to her. She accused him of cheating on her, leaving her for Richie, lying to her and seeing Richie behind her back for years, among other things. None of which were true, but it did drag things out tremendously. Richie was always there, however, holding Eddie’s hand in court and comforting him back at home. 

When the divorce was settled, and the day finally came for Eddie to sign the papers separating him from Myra forever, Richie cried tears of joy as he watched Eddie scribble his signature on the paperwork. 

They’d kissed that day, their first kiss since they were 18, their second kiss ever, but it made Eddie’s heart spin and his face flush. He couldn’t stop smiling on their ride home. 

*** 

Eddie quickly realized that he was in love with Richie. He loved Richie as much as Richie loved him, at least he assumed he did, and it was a weird feeling. It was weird for him to realize that he’d never loved Myra, or even liked her really, because he’d never felt such a powerful feeling in his heart for anyone besides Richie. 

The day he told Richie also happened to be the day he’d signed his divorce papers, almost exactly a month and a half after he’d been discharged from the hospital, three months after he’d told Myra he wanted a divorce, and five months since he’d returned to Derry. 

Richie drove them back to their apartment after his final meeting with the divorce lawyers, chattering animatedly, waving his hands around while he spoke. Eddie watched him the whole way, smiling softly and nodding along, listening but not really hearing. He was too distracted by Richie’s mouth when he talked, his hands when he gripped the steering wheel, his hair when he dragged his fingers through it. 

“Do you want to get some food, Spaghetti?” Richie asked as he slowed for a red light. “I was calling you ‘Spaghetti,’ by the way, not asking if you want spaghetti.”

“I got that,” Eddie smiled at him. 

“We can get spaghetti if you want, but I don’t know I can support cannibalism.”

“You’re such a fucking idiot.” Eddie rolled his eyes. 

“You wound me, Eds.” Richie frowned, eyes glancing over to Eddie. 

“Let’s just go home,” Eddie shrugged, sitting back in his seat as Richie started driving again. “We can order food later.”

Richie smiled at him. “Your wish is my command, Eddie-O.”

*** 

When they walked back through the front door of their apartment, Richie dropped his bag by the door and kicked off his shoes, setting them on the mat next to Eddie’s running sneakers. “What’re you thinking for dinner, Eds?” He dropped his keys in the bowl by the front door. “I was thinking we could order pizza, if you—“

“Can I have a hug, Rich?” Eddie interrupted, closing and locking the front door. 

Richie smiled and cocked his head, opening his arms up. “You can always have a hug, Spaghetti-Man, you don’t even have to ask.”

Eddie walked into Richie’s arms, wrapping his hands tightly around him and pressing his cheek to Richie’s chest. Richie dropped a kiss to the crown of Eddie’s head, resting his chin there while he rubbed over Eddie’s back. “I love you,” Eddie said softly. 

“I love you too, buckaroo.” Richie laughed, squeezing Eddie’s shoulders. 

Eddie pulled back and looked into Richie’s eyes, chin resting on his sternum. “Thank you for being here for me. Thank you for waiting for me.”

“Eddie Spaghetti,” Richie brushed some of Eddie’s hair behind his ear. “I would wait until the end of time for you.” 

“I love you,” Eddie said again. 

“I love you too,” Richie smiled wide, tapping the end of Eddie’s nose with his finger. 

Eddie stood up on his toes to kiss Richie, pressing their lips together gently. Richie responded immediately, bringing his hands up to cup Eddie’s jaw and humming softly. The kiss was chaste, only lasting a few seconds, but when Eddie pulled back, Richie was smiling. Grinning wide, from ear to ear. “I’m _in_ love with you, Richie.” Eddie clarified. 

“Yeah, I got that.” Richie kept on smiling, eyes crinkled up with joy. “Can I kiss you again?” 

Eddie nodded quickly, standing on his toes to meet Richie’s lips for another kiss. It made fireworks explode in his stomach to be so close to Richie, his hands looped around the back of Richie’s neck while Richie’s hands cupped his face. He loved how tall Richie was, and how he had to stand up on his tiptoes to kiss him. He loved the way Richie’s stubble scraped his face as their mouths moved together, Richie tilting his head to the side for a better angle, gently separating Eddie’s lips with his tongue. 

Heat pushed through Eddie’s veins as Richie deepened the kiss, tongue sliding over Eddie’s lazily, the taste of Richie’s mouth on his. He thought back to their kiss in the quarry, so many years ago, and how Richie had tasted like the lake water and like those disgusting fucking clove cigarettes he’d smoked for half a second back in the 90’s. Today, Richie tasted completely different, but somehow the same. He tasted like Richie, Eddie realized, a taste that was as uniquely him as his Voices were, or his laugh. Eddie pulled Richie closer, dragging his hand up through Richie’s hair on the back of his head, wanting to be closer to him. He wanted to fucking climb inside of Richie, and even then he wasn’t sure if that would be close enough. He’d lost fucking _decades_ of time with Richie, and he was trying desperately to make up for it now. 

Richie moaned softly into Eddie’s mouth, hands sliding down from his face to rest on his hips. He pulled back, smiling at Eddie’s whine of protest, leaning away when Eddie chased his lips for another kiss. “Come back here, asshole.” Eddie complained. 

“Eddie, I just—“ Richie smiled again, shaking his head. “I just love you, so fucking much, Eds, I really do.” His voice was thick when he spoke, eyes bleary. 

“Do not fucking cry, Richie, I swear to god—“

“I can’t help it!” Richie insisted, sniffling. “I’m sensitive!”

“You’re so ridiculous,” Eddie laughed softly, leaning up kiss Richie’s tears away. “I love you too.” He sighed happily, laying his head on Richie’s chest and listening to his heart pound behind his breastplate. “You’re really hard,” Eddie commented quietly. 

Richie nodded, chin resting on the top of Eddie’s head. “Sorry, I just got excited.” Richie wrapped Eddie up in a tight hug, cock brushing against Eddie’s stomach where it strained against Richie’s pants. 

“I’ve never slept with a man,” Eddie said. 

“We don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with, Eds.” 

“I want to do everything with you, Richie.” Eddie pulled back to look into Richie’s eyes. “If you’ll have me.” 

Richie took Eddie’s face in his hands again. “Edward Francis Kaspbrak, I have never wanted anyone but you.” He said softly, eyes sweeping over Eddie’s face. “I wanted you, and only you, before I even knew what sex was. I wanted to spend every waking moment with you when we were fucking _nine_ , man.” He kissed the end of Eddie’s nose. “But, I guess now I’ll just have to settle for having you every day from now until the end of time.”

Eddie smiled up at him again, face flushing under Richie’s loving gaze. “I love you,” He said, just because he fucking _could_. 

“I love you more,” Richie replied, stooping down to catch Eddie’s lips in another kiss. 

“Not true,” Eddie mumbled, trying to keep their lips touching as he pushed Richie backwards towards their couch. 

“You do _not_ want to get in a love-off with me, Kaspbrak.” Richie warned, sitting on the center cushion and pulling Eddie down into his lap. 

“Bring it on, Trashmouth.” Eddie challenged, grinding down in Richie’s lap, skin tingling as Richie’s hard-on pressed against his ass. 

“I let you put your freezing cold feet on me every night, Eddie. That’s how much I love you.” Richie’s hands worked at the buttons on Eddie’s shirt as he spoke, leaving kisses all along his face and neck. 

“I make your coffee exactly the way you like it every fucking morning, Rich, despite the fact that it _disgusts_ me how much cream and sugar you put in it. That’s how much I fucking love you.” Eddie threaded his hands through Richie’s hair, lightly scratching his nails over his scalp. 

“I pick my shit up off the floor and put it away, even though I’d much rather fling it all over the place, because I know it bothers you to be surrounded by mess. That’s how much I love you, Eds.” Richie pushed Eddie’s shirt off of his shoulders, dragging his undershirt off too, and tossing them both aside. 

“I let you call me ‘Eds’ and ‘Spaghetti’ and whatever other stupid bullshit you come up with, even though I’ve been telling you since we were nine how much I hate it, because I love you.” Eddie closed his eyes and dropped his head back as Richie leaned forward, licking over Eddie’s left nipple before sucking it into his mouth and laving his tongue over it. 

“You love the nicknames,” Richie mumbled against Eddie’s chest, gripping Eddie’s ass in his hands and squeezing. 

“Do not,” Eddie tried to keep his breathing steady (which was easier said than done, since he was missing half of a fucking lung) as Richie shifted his attention to his other nipple, kissing it softly before circling it with his tongue. 

“I know for a fact that you do, honey bun.” Richie insisted, smiling against Eddie’s skin when he whimpered at the pet name. “Told you,” 

“Shut up,” Eddie breathed, tugging on Richie’s hair in his hands. 

“Make me, lover boy.” Richie teased, kissing up Eddie’s sternum to mouth at the hollow of his throat. 

Eddie bent over to kiss Richie again, holding his face tightly in his hands, running his fingers over the temples of Richie’s glasses where they were tucked behind his ears. Eddie dragged Richie’s shirt up over his head, throwing it off to the side before kissing him again. He ran his hands down Richie’s chest, fingers catching on his dark body hair as he went. “Fuck, I love this.” He groaned, hands resting on Richie’s stomach. 

“What?” Richie lifted his hips off of the couch to grind against Eddie, breathing heavily. “My chest hair?”

Eddie nodded quickly, leaning fully forward to mouth at Richie’s chest. “You’re just so—“ Eddie groaned again, Richie’s hair brushing against his chin. He smelled like some kind of spicy cologne and it made Eddie’s cock twitch in his pants. “—so fucking, _manly_ , Richie, Jesus, look at you.” 

Richie snickered softly, groping Eddie’s ass with his hands, squeezing hard enough to earn him a deep moan from Eddie. “I never know you were so into otters, Eds.”

Eddie frowned and pulled back. “What’s an otter?” 

“Like a bear, but not quite as hairy.” 

“What’s a bear?” Eddie pulled his eyebrows together. 

“You’re adorable,” Richie said, instead of an answer. “And I love you, and your weird chest hair fetish.” 

“It’s not a fetish,” Eddie shook his head. “I just like the way you look.”

Richie smiled up at him, reaching up to pinch his cheek. “You flatter me, Spaghetti, really.” He slid his hands down Eddie’s body, popping the button on his jeans and pushing the zipper down. “I like the way you look, too, you handsome devil.”

Eddie flushed at the praise, inhaling sharply as Richie pulled his cock out of his pants and began stroking him slowly. “I’m not handsome,” He managed, shaking his head. 

“You _are_ ,” Richie insisted, dragging his hand up Eddie’s cock and swiping his thumb over the slit. “Goddamn _gorgeous_ , Eds, stunning, babe.” 

Eddie shivered, eyes slipping shut as Richie leaned up and kissed his cheek. “Rich,” He whispered, rolling his hips up into Richie’s grasp. 

“Can I blow you?” Richie asked, free hand resting on Eddie’s thigh, rubbing his thumb in slow circles over Eddie’s denim-clad leg while continuing to jerk him off. 

Eddie nodded quickly, sliding off of Richie’s lap and settling on the couch cushion, head resting on the back of the sofa. Richie hopped off the couch and kneeled on the ground in front of Eddie, pulling his jeans and underpants all the way off and setting them aside. Richie’s eyes were dark, pupils blown so wide Eddie could barely see any of his soft brown irises, as he took Eddie’s dick in his hand and began pumping him again. Eddie was working hard to keep his breathing under control as he watched Richie, not wanting to use the inhaler the doctor had given him to help his body cope with his loss of half a lung. He dropped one of his hands onto the couch next to him, balling it up into a fist as Richie leaned forward and licked a line straight up his cock, from the base to the tip, before swirling his tongue around the head. “Fuck, Richie.” Eddie bucked his hips off the couch as Richie licked up him again, tracing one of the veins with his lips. 

Richie’s eyes flashed up to Eddie’s briefly before swallowing him down in one go, letting Eddie’s full length slide into his throat. Eddie’s hand shot out to wrap up in Richie’s hair, trying to ground himself as his soul tried to leave his fucking body. Richie had clearly done this before, deepthroating like it was his fucking job, bobbing quickly over Eddie’s length, breathing evenly through his nose while he worked one hand behind his lips as he went, using the other hand to cup Eddie’s balls. 

He looked so fucking good sucking cock, lips shiny and wet, cheeks flushed a deep red, dark curls twisted between Eddie’s fingers, it was a miracle Eddie didn’t cum just from fucking looking at him. 

Richie pulled off for a second, taking a few deep breaths and continuing to stroke Eddie while he did, fist flying over his cock, slick with spit and precum. “Do you want to cum like this?” Richie asked, using his wrist to push his glasses back into place. 

“No,” Eddie shook his head and swatted Richie’s hand away from him, unable to help the small whine that escaped his throat at the loss of contact. “I want you to fuck me, Richie, please.”

“Are you _sure_ , Eddie?” Richie pressed, laying his hands on Eddie’s bare thighs. “I can finish you off now, I don’t mind.”

“I’m sure, Rich.” Eddie insisted, taking Richie’s chin is his hand. “I trust you.”

Richie smiled up at him, closing his eyes and sighing through his nose. “I’m too old for us to fuck on the couch,” Richie said, pushing himself to his feet and holding his hand out to Eddie. “We’re lucky my old man knees didn’t give out from kneeling on the floor.” 

Eddie laughed softly and accepted Richie’s hand, allowing Richie to pull him off the couch and into another kiss, sweet and slow, despite the fact that Richie had been sucking Eddie’s cock two minutes earlier. “I love you,” Eddie whispered into Richie’s mouth. 

“I love you right back, Eds.” Richie murmured, cupping Eddie’s face in his hands. “So, so much.” He pecked Eddie’s lips lightly before turning and pulling him, by his wrist, towards their bedroom. 

Richie and Eddie had been living together for almost 2 months at that point, and had been sleeping in the same bed for most of that time, but Eddie’s stomach still twisted anxiously as Richie shut their bedroom door, leaving them alone, Richie in only his jeans and his socks, Eddie completely naked, bare and exposed. He briefly considered covering himself up, but then thought that that would be stupid, so instead he stood next to his side of the bed and waited for instructions from Richie on what to do. 

Richie came up to Eddie and hauled him up for another kiss, licking into his mouth and moaning softly, his erection brushing against Eddie’s bare hip as they kissed. “You ok, Eds?” Richie pulled back and looked into Eddie’s eyes, large hands cupping his jaw. 

Eddie nodded, wrapping his hands around Richie’s wrists, holding him in place with their faces a few centimeters apart. “I’m just nervous,” He said honestly. 

“We can stop,” Richie offered. 

Eddie shook his head, dropping his hands down to unbutton and unzip Richie’s pants, pushing them down so they pooled on the floor. “Don’t stop, please.”

Richie pressed their foreheads together as Eddie wrapped his hand around Richie’s cock, tugging slowly upwards on Richie’s heated skin. “Fuck, Eds.” Richie breathed, eyes slipping shut behind his glasses. 

“Jesus, Richie, your dick if fucking huge.” Eddie mumbled. 

_In awe_ was the wrong word, but he was definitely surprised. Richie was very well endowed, long and thick and hard, curving up towards his stomach and leaking precum all over his tummy hair and Eddie’s hand. It wasn’t like Eddie had a lot of experience with other men’s penises, but he had watched his fair share of porn, and he knew what an average sized dick was, and Richie was well above average. 

Richie laughed breathlessly. “Thanks, man. I grew it myself.”

“You’re insufferable.” Eddie rolled his eyes and Richie laughed again, kissing Eddie softly. 

“Yeah, but you already knew that.” Richie smiled against Eddie’s mouth, slowly bending down to sit on the edge of the bed and pulling Eddie down with him. “Here, lie back.” Richie instructed, gently pushing on Eddie’s shoulders until he moved up to lie against the pillows. 

Richie leaned up on the bed, pressing his lips to Eddie’s cheek and cupping his other cheek with his hand. He stayed there for a few seconds, lips resting on Eddie’s flushed face, breath fanning over his heated skin. Eddie closed his eyes and leaned into Richie’s mouth, heart thumping so loudly in his chest he was surprised they couldn’t hear it.

Richie pulled back, leaving one last quick kiss on Eddie’s cheek, before turning away and flicking on the bedside table lamp, beginning to root through Eddie’s nightstand. He, apparently, couldn’t find what he was looking for, because he huffed quietly and stood up, crossing to his side of the bed and digging through his own nightstand. After a second, he tossed a bottle down onto the bed, and then went right back to searching through his bedside drawer. “Jesus, Eds.” Richie grumbled, turning to face him with a scowl on his face. “We don’t have any condoms, Eddie.” He climbed up and kneeled on the bed, frowning. 

“Oh,” Eddie said softly. He hadn’t bought condoms in a long time, and for as long as he’d been living with Richie, neither of them had ever brought anyone home. “I don’t— uh.” Richie studied Eddie’s face as he spoke. “I mean, I don’t really— if you want— uhm. I trust you, Richie.” 

Richie’s eyes flashed over Eddie’s face again, eyebrows pulled together. “Are you sure?” 

Eddie nodded, holding his hand out to Richie. “Of course, Rich.” He nodded, taking Richie’s wrist in his hand and pulling him down into a kiss. 

They kissed for a minute, Eddie parting his lips to allow Richie’s tongue inside, rolling his hips up every so often to drag their cocks together. Eddie became a whimpering mess pretty quickly, his skin tingling all over wherever Richie’s hands were on him, breathing shakily as Richie turned his attention to Eddie neck, licking and sucking at the soft skin there, Richie’s stubble dragging over his flesh, his glasses digging into his skin. Richie sucked a hickey under the hinge of Eddie’s jaw, running his tongue over the new mark, while dragging his thumb over Eddie’s nipple. “God, Eddie, I love you so much.” Richie said softly, kissing the column of Eddie’s throat. 

“I love you too,” Eddie turned his head to press a kiss to Richie’s temple. 

Richie pulled away, sitting back and settling between Eddie’s legs. He popped the cap off of the lube and poured some over his hand, coating his long fingers. “If I hurt you, tell me, or if you want to stop at all, we can. I won’t be upset.”

Eddie nodded, trying to relax as best he could as Richie hitched his legs apart, guiding his right leg up so it was bent at the knee, and slowly slipping one of his fingers into Eddie. 

Eddie groaned quietly, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back against the pillows. He’d only ever fingered himself before, and even then he didn’t do it very often, so having Richie gently massaging him open was a completely foreign feeling. Richie went slow, almost too slow, pressing in bit by bit until he was three knuckles deep with his middle finger. “You ok? Do you need me to stop?” Richie asked softly. 

“No, I’m—“ Eddie shook his head. “I’m good, Rich, keep going.”

“You’re doing so well, Eds.” Richie ran a soothing hand down Eddie’s thigh, pulling his finger out slowly and adding his index finger as well, working them in to the second knuckle. “You look so beautiful, Eddie.” Richie whispered. “So fucking gorgeous, babe.” 

Eddie moaned at the praise, skin heating up as a blush spread down his face, over his neck and chest. “Rich,” He whimpered. 

“I’m right here, honey.” Richie squeezed Eddie’s knee, fingers now all the way inside, slowly beginning to scissor them open. “God, fuck, you’re so pretty.” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Eddie’s tummy, sucking a dark mark just below his belly button before moving down to mouth at the head of his cock. “I love you so much, Eddie.” Richie said softly, pushing his glasses back up. 

“I love you too, Richie— fuck!” Eddie gasped out sharply as Richie’s fingers found his prostate, twisting up deeply into him and making him see stars. 

“You’re doing so good, sweetheart.” Richie slid his ring finger in as well, spreading them apart to open Eddie up further than he’d ever managed on his own. He realized he liked the burning stretch of Richie’s fingers inside of him, and his cock throbbed in the open air at the thought of Richie’s dick buried inside of him. “You’re taking everything so well, honey.” Richie rubbed his free hand down Eddie’s side, stroking his thumb over one of Eddie’s ribs. 

“Do one more,” Eddie choked out, grinding down against Richie’s hand as he found his prostate again, rubbing the pads of his fingers over it. 

Richie whimpered softly, but nodded his head nonetheless. “Anything for you, Eds.” He squirted some more lube onto his hand and gently worked his pinky in alongside his other fingers, twisting them around and opening his hand up more and more. “I love you,”

“I love you too,” Eddie smiled up at Richie for a second, meeting his eyes behind the foggy lenses of his glasses. “I’m ready.”

“You’re sure?” Richie pushed his glasses up again, grabbing the lube and popping the top open. “I can keep fingering you if you want, I don’t want to hurt you.”

Eddie shook his head, reaching his arms towards Richie. “I’m ready, Rich, really.” 

Richie nodded and pulled his hand out, kissing Eddie’s kneecap when he whined softly at the cold, empty feeling. He used the leftover lube from his hand to slick himself up, adding more lube from the bottle just to be safe, and swiped some more over Eddie’s entrance. He gripped his cock by the base and lined it up with Eddie’s hole, pressing just the head against him for a moment, closing his eyes and breathing evenly. He pushed his glasses back into place again, wiping the lube from his hand on the sheets at the foot of the bed. “Why don’t you take your glasses off, Rich?” Eddie laughed softly, running his hands up Richie’s sides. 

“And miss out on the best view of my life?” Richie raised his eyebrows, guiding the head of his cock into Eddie, slowly pushing past the tight ring of muscles. “Not a chance, baby-love.” 

Eddie had planned on saying something back, but the words died in his throat at the feeling of Richie sliding into him, stretching him out, opening him up. He went slow, almost tortuously slow, one hand on Eddie’s shoulder, the other still gripping the base of his cock as he slid in, inch by inch. 

He stopped halfway in and just breathed, reaching up to cup Eddie’s face, stroking his thumb over Eddie’s cheekbone. “You’re ok?” He asked again. 

Eddie nodded, though he still couldn’t open his eyes. He kept them squeezed shut, one hand gripping Richie’s wrist as he held his face, the other hand fisted tightly in the sheets. “Keep going,” 

Richie bent all the way forward, pressing his lips to Eddie’s forehead as he pushed in all the way, hips seated against Eddie’s, fully buried. “Eds,” He said quietly. 

Eddie shivered at the feeling of Richie inside of him. The fullness, the stretch, it was so good to have Richie inside of him that he shivered again, a harsh shudder raking through his entire body as he clung to Richie’s shoulders. Eddie whimpered softly, wrapping his legs around Richie’s middle, pulling him close and kissing him softly. 

Richie gripped the headboard tightly with one of his hands, the other one flat against the pillows next to Eddie’s head. He was breathing pretty heavily, hot breath fanning over Eddie’s face as they kissed. After a second, Richie pulled back, once again pushing his glasses back up, and looking into Eddie’s eyes. “You’re ok?” 

“Yes,” Eddie nodded quickly, shifting himself so he could roll his hips up into Richie, pressing him deeper inside. “Move, Rich, please.”

Richie nodded, kissing Eddie’s cheek as he pulled back, slipping almost fully out, before thrusting back in, pushing directly into Eddie’s prostate. “Fuck, Eddie, you’re so tight.” Richie groaned, thrusting forward again. “You feel so good.”

“Richie,” Eddie whimpered, running his hands over Richie’s shoulders and down his chest, holding him close as he fucked into him again, slowly building up a pace. 

“I love you so much, Eddie.” Richie whispered, taking his hand off of the headboard so he could rest his it on Eddie’s stomach, directly over the scar from when Pennywise had impaled him. “I’m so happy you’re here with me, Eddie, I can’t imagine my life without you.” He shook his head, face flushing red as tears started spilling over his cheeks. 

“Richie, hey, don’t cry, honey.” Eddie wiped Richie’s tears away with his thumbs, cradling his face in his hands. “I’m here, Rich, I’m not going anywhere.”

“I love you,” Richie said again.

“I love you too.” Eddie smiled up at him, his own eyes prickling as Richie continued to cry. “Don’t cry, you idiot, I love you.”

Richie huffed a wet laugh, sniffling softly and sweeping his hair back from his face. “I love you too.” He buried his face in Eddie’s neck, kissing over his sweaty skin as he resumed fucking into him, shifting his angle on every thrust in search of Eddie’s prostate. 

“God, Richie, you’re so big.” Eddie moaned, scratching his nails down Richie’s back as he finally found his prostate, making him gasp out sharply, nipples hardening. “You feel so good, Richie.” He slid his hands up into Richie’s hair, tangling his fingers up in his dark curls and pulling. 

“Eddie,” Richie groaned, biting down on the thin skin just above Eddie’s collarbone. “I’m close, Eds, fuck.”

“Me too,” Eddie nodded, wrapping his legs tighter around Richie’s middle to draw him closer. He kissed Richie’s earlobe, nosing along the shell of his ear as Richie lost his rhythm, thrusts becoming short and erratic as he chased his climax. “Kiss me,” He whispered. 

Richie left another sharp bite on Eddie’s shoulder before pulling back slightly and pressing their lips together in a sloppy kiss, more teeth and tongue and rapid panting than anything else. 

Richie came first, thrusting deep into Eddie with a short shout of his name, hitting his prostate so hard that Eddie’s vision blacked out, head falling back against the pillows as he came up between them, completely untouched. 

When Eddie came back into his body after a minute, he realized Richie was crying again, face pressed into the space between Eddie’s neck and shoulder, taking shuddery breaths and sobbing softly. “Hey, Rich—“

“No, I’m sorry.” Richie shook his head, wet cheeks sliding across Eddie’s sweaty skin. “I’m sorry, I’m just—“ He laughed shortly. “I’m just so emotional.”

“I can see that.” Eddie commented, dragging his fingertips up Richie’s forearms, smiling softly when his muscles twitched at the stimulation. 

“I just love you so much, Eds.” Richie burrowed deeper into Eddie’s skin, pressing soft kisses all along his neck. 

“I love you too, Richie.” Eddie turned his head to meet Richie’s tired eyes, smiling at each other. “Thank you.”

“For loving you?” Richie asked, bringing his hand up to cup Eddie’s cheek. 

“No— well, yes.” Eddie kissed the end of his nose. “For loving me and for staying with me and for waiting for me. It couldn’t have been easy for you, all those years.”

Richie shook his head, frowning. “Eddie, loving you is the easiest thing that I’ve ever done. I didn’t even need to think about it. It was just something that was. I woke up every morning and knew that I loved you just like I knew that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. Even when I didn’t know who you were, I loved you. I was always looking for you, in everyone I ever met. I’d compare them to you in my head. They were too tall, or too serious, or too quiet. You were the basis for every relationship I ever had. No wonder none of them worked.” He stroked his thumb over Eddie’s cheekbone, wiping away the first tear that fell. “None of them were you.” Eddie cried in silence for a minute, tears spilling down his cheeks as Richie watched him, wiping them away. After a second, he laughed, shoulders shaking as he did. Richie’s face broke open into a wide grin. “What?”

“You’re still inside of me,” Eddie laughed, pushing at Richie’s shoulders. “And we’re fucking _covered_ in cum, dude, get up, we need to shower.”

Richie kissed Eddie’s cheek softly, shifting inside of him but still not pulling out. “Wait a little while longer,” He said, pressing his cheek to Eddie’s shoulder. “I want to stay with you.”

Eddie smiled down at him, cupping the back of Richie’s head in his hand and kissing the end of his nose. “You’re lucky I love you so much.” He mumbled, nosing at Richie’s sweaty hairline. 

“I love you too, Spaghetti-Man.” Richie said softly. “I always will.”

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me anywhere! My handle for everything is @rauqthetommo! Feel free to ask me questions at all on my tumblr!


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